Our New Family Milk Cow | Why We Chose A Dexter

We officially own a family milk cow, and she has been a dream come true for helping us reach our goal of providing quality and nutritious food for my family.

If you care more about the story of us bring our new cows home then jump down to the “The Cows We Never Wanted” section.

In this portion of the post, I share the God story of how we had picked out the cows we wanted but ended up with different cows who gave us more than we imagined possible.

The first part of this post is for educational purposes and to help someone considering a Dexter for their family milk cow.

Peaceful Winter Milking & Cheese Making YouTube Video

Is one dairy cow enough for a family?

Just for the sake of a blanket answer for this question, I would say, yes.

Although, it really matters what your goals are for your family milk cow.

Do you want her to provide all your dairy needs?

Drinking milk, baking, cheese, yogurt, kefir, sour cream, cottage cheese, butter, etc.

Or are you just looking for her to supply a couple needs?

Do you have a smaller family of 5 like us?

Or do you have a large family of 10?

The answer to these questions will also dictate the breed of cow you want.

Dexter or Jersey

When we decided that we wanted to provide our family with milk from our farm (like we do chicken meat and eggs) we ended up between these two breeds.

They both produce great-quality milk.

A2/A2 with plenty of butterfat (although the Jersey produces slightly more butterfat than the Dexter).

But a Jersey family milk cow will produce much more milk daily than a Dexter.

About double the amount of milk.

But before you get all excited about all that milk, there is a cost to double the milk.

They will also require more input than a Dexter.

A Dexter family milk cow will produce quality milk on hay/grass and forage alone.

Grain is not required to maintain her health and produce milk for the family.

Most, but not all, Jersey’s have been bred for the modern dairy system.

This means she will produce best with grain added to her diet, not just grass and forage.

The average amount of milk per day from a Jersey is 6 gallons, while a Dexter is 3 gallons.

Makes sense that double the input would give you double the output.

Our Limited Personal Experience

Age & Lactation Stage

Our Dexter family milk cow is a first-time mama.

This means she will likely increase her milk production until she peaks at around her 4th calving.

Another factor in the amount of milk we get is that she is nearly 6 months into her lactation.

We are not at the bottom of the barrel for her milk production, but we are on our way down.

Calf Sharing

We also do something called “calf sharing”.

Which means what it sounds like.

We share the milk from our sweet Millie with her calf.

He gets free access to Mama all day until his “bedtime”.

We go out to the barn and we put him in the stall beside his Mama for the night.

This way he can be beside her, but he can’t nurse on her.

Then, in the morning, we take Millie to our DIY milking stanchion and milk her.

There are numerous reasons to calf share and numerous benefits to not.

It all depends on the goals you have for your family milk cow.

Hand milking (Two beginners)

Another, point to consider with our experience is that we are hand milking.

Millie has never been milked (except by me).

AND I have never milked a cow except for Millie.

Dexters are small, meaning I can’t just go buy a regular cow milking machine.

We would need to find one that fits her (typically a goat milker) and the clean-up after is more extensive.

We have friends who have a milk machine for their Jersey and they say it takes about 1 hour from start to finish with the cleaning of all the machine parts.

It takes me 30 minutes.

All of that to say, we are getting an average of 1/2 gallon of milk every morning.

Why did we get a Dexter for a Family Milk Cow?

Long Term Goals for Growth

Ultimately, we want to provide for our family with as much as we can from our farm.

Concerning the cows, my husband’s main focus was beef.

But I have had a desire to milk for years.

To meet both of those dreams we landed on the Dexter.

The Dexter can produce quality meat and milk on mainly hay/grass and forage.

For us and our food goals this breed felt like a great solution.

Not to mention, our long-term dream would be to raise as many cattle as we can on our 40 acres.

If we ever do reach that goal we would want to have a bull on our farm.

When I think of a bull the first thing that comes to mind is safety.

We have small children and other animals.

The last thing I want is an injury from an aggressive bull.

Turns out Dexter bulls are some of the most kind and docile of all the cattle breeds.

The farm we bought our cows from, Royal Fare Farm, has bulls.

They raise cattle and sheep.

During our visit the lady told us she often uses her bull to protect her from getting run over by the ram.

The bull is very friendly and kind and loves scratches.

We’ve seen the same behavior from a Dexter herd we watch on the YouTube channel “Just A Few Acres Farm“.

(Dexter bulls are still animals and need to be respected as such. It doesn’t matter how gentle they are.)

For us and our long-term plans for grass-fed and grass-finished beef, we decided Dexters would be a great fit for our family.

Dual Purpose Breed

I touched on this already, so I will not belabor it.

But they are good at converting grass/hay and forage into meat and milk.

Most modern breeds have been bred to be great at one or the other, but not both.

Size of Cow

They are one of the smallest cow breeds.

For us this was important because I had never handled livestock.

My husband grew up around horses a little, but I had zero experience.

So I wanted to make sure we started with a breed that wasn’t so much larger than me that I was afraid of her.

Although, if I’m completely honest, I was very much afraid of sweet Millie until I watched my husband with her.

He was so confident and she trusted his confidence.

After I watched their interactions I learned how to stand beside her, and now she and I are probably closer than she and my husband.

Temperament

Dexters are known for having good temperments.

I mentioned that the bulls are known for being docile and the cows are the same.

This mattered to us because of our children and my lack of experience.

Hardiness

No animal is immune to health problems.

But some breeds are more predisposed than others to get sick.

A Dexter is considered a hardy breed.

In fact, I’ve heard of some people breeding other cow breeds with a Dexter because of the hardiness.

They also have great calving experiences.

Many Dexter owners talk about going to bed with 8 pregnant cows, and waking up the next morning to 8 calves on the ground already cleaned up and nursing.

Since we are new to livestock we wanted a breed that generally knew what to do and had few health issues.

I’m a nurse, but I’d rather not have to utilize those skills haha!

Honestly, after reading this, you’re probably thinking, if Dexters are so great then why don’t more people have them.

The short and simple answer is size.

They are little and when they go to the butcher, they yield half the meat, and while milking they give less milk.

I have a counter to that argument, but at this point it really gets into the type of farm you want to have.

Our plan is the create a regenerative farm that uses as few chemicals as possible.

Polyface Farm, with Joel Salatin is one of our favorite farms.

We actually went to visit their farm this summer before we brought our sweet cows home.

So a breed that converted grass/hay and forage with minimal to zero grain input was a top priority for us.

The Cows We Never Wanted

Discovery Days at Royal Fare Farm

Finding a cow that meets all your needs is 100% possible.

But depending on your needs you will pay a pretty penny for it.

Everything I was reading on the internet said that since I didn’t have milking experience, I NEEDED to get an experienced milk cow.

I hunted around for one, but every family milk cow was out of our budget.

We just couldn’t afford to buy one already trained.

So we decided that we would buy a heifer and get her to be friendly with us, then we would train her to milk.

Again, this went against what most people in those circles recommend, but we just knew we couldn’t afford it any other way.

I reached out to Royal Fare Farm about their Dexter cattle for sale.

After a few text messages back and forth, we decided that there were two heifers that would probably fit our needs.

So we scheduled to meet the cows at “Discovery Day” when all the people interested in buying cows from their herd could have a Q&A with the breeders and meet the cows firsthand.

The day before “Discovery Days”

The day before Discovery Day we ended up having to take our family cat to the emergency room only to discover she had a tension pneumothorax.

I know she is just a kitty, but she is my buddy.

So knowing our budget for the cows we decided to spend half of it to save our cats life.

This made the Discovery Day very hard on me and my husband.

We couldn’t just buy one cow because they are social creatures.

But we had spent half the money on the cat.

So now we had to adjust our list.

The two heifers we originally wanted weren’t an option.

But there was another cow who was due to give birth to her first calf one month later named Millie.

She was a pasture cow.

She spent most of her days hanging out with other cows in the herd, and the farm she came from has over 100 cows.

I cried and was so embarrassed about it.

I had dreams of milking these two heifers, who were halter trained and friendly, this coming Spring after they gave birth.

We drove home that day with our milking dreams crushed but had great hope for a quality beef herd.

On the drive home, we thought to call the breeder and ask them if we could purchase a weaned heifer calf from one of her favorite milk cow lines.

This was a long-term family milk cow plan in case Millie did not let us milk her.

This is why we have Sara, who we adore and believe will be a beautiful milk cow someday!

The Next Day

We went to church the next day trusting God.

We had prayed for Him to make sure we came home with the cows that were the right cows for us.

But in my human-ness, I was struggling.

This was a “wild cow” and I was certain she would hate me.

The internet assured me that I would never be able to turn this pasture cow into our family milk cow.

Then, during worship, God brought to mind a scripture I read a couple weeks prior.

“For all the animals of the forest are mine,
    and I own the cattle on a thousand hills.”
Psalm 50:10

It gave my anxious heart peace.

It felt like He was whispering to me, “Millie is mine. She will do what I tell her to do.”

Then, as I was driving home from church that same morning, another scripture came to me through the radio station I was listening to:

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously,
and he will give you everything you need.”
Matthew 6:33

That felt like He was reinforcing what He gave me during worship.

It was like through those two scriptures, He said, “As long as you focus on Me and keep Me and My Kingdom your priority, Millie will do what I tell her to do.”

I’ll be honest.

There were 4 months between that day and the day we brought them home.

Plenty of time for me to let my anxious thoughts creep back up and torment me.

The days after we brought home our family milk cow

Within that four month period, we decided that we wanted to try to milk Millie if she would let us.

So each day after we brought her home we worked on getting closer and more friendly with her.

Within the first week she would let me stand beside her and pet her and even massage her udder.

This blew me away because she was a PASTURE COW!

The internet said she wouldn’t ever let me touch her, let alone massage her udder within a week.

I was in such disbelief.

I messaged the breeder and asked if she had been working with her.

To which she replied, “No. I wish I could have. But we were too busy.”

My mouth all but hit the floor.

Milking Our Family Milk Cow

When we started milking it was far from this romantic and beautiful thing.

I’ve been learning Millies likes and dislikes, and she has been learning my likes and dislikes.

If she is displeased about something she lets me know by pooping or peeing while being milked.

If I’m not pleased with something then she doesn’t get her extra alfalfa treat at the end of milking.

I’m learning how to make it a pleasant experience for her, and she is learning how to make it pleasant for me.

Or she’s learning what does and doesn’t earn her that extra treat haha!

But regardless, it’s been a beautiful experience.

Not all easy, but like I said when we moved to this farm, hard doesn’t mean bad.

The really cool thing about this entire story is this:

Millie gave birth at Royal Fare Farm in July.

We began milking after we brought her to our farm in November.

The two other cows I wanted wouldn’t be in milk until Spring 2025!!

How good is God?!

Speaking of which, guess what?!

Millie is pregnant and due in late April to early May of 2025.

Thanks so much for sticking around.

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Have a great week! XoXo

Open Your Doors,
Aliya

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