Meet Aliya

The Way I Lost Myself and How Becoming Intentional with Our Home Helped me Find Myself Again (And Get Published in Magazine).

Hi! My name is Aliya. I’m so glad you stopped by!

Truly you have no idea how much it means to me.

So let me explain…

Right out of college I started working as an RN working in the operating room.

While I was working I was achieving goals and climbing the ladder.

I’ve always been ambitious and achieving was a love language I spoke to myself.

I guess deep down I didn’t believe that I had value if I wasn’t doing that.

So after Justin and I got married, I brought that mentality with me.

We lived in a small townhouse apartment and I remember wanting to make it look so good for Justin.

I wanted him to love the way I decorated our home for him.

But I felt like a failure in that arena.

One day after another “failed” trip to a local store he told me “Some people just aren’t good at home decor.”

I accepted it, and with my RN career moving alongI didn’t let it bother me much.

But when my husband and I got pregnant and we started talking about what life would look like for me after our baby was born (we didn’t find out her gender until the day she was born, which is a hilarious and hormonal story).

We ultimately decided I would go part-time at work which meant I had to step down from the leadership position I had worked so hard to achieve.

Before our daughter was born I knew it would be worth it, but I had no idea how much of a toll it was going to take on my personality.

Life After My First Daughter Was Born

Our daughter arrived right on schedule, and I took 12 weeks of maternity leave.

I loved it.

I didn’t want to go back to work.

Not even a little bit.

But once those 12 weeks were over I went back.

I went back 2 days a week, and honestly it was hard.

I was a staff nurse now, with me extra responsibility and goals to achieve.

My job was to go to work, do my job, then go home.

That was it.

That mixed with a newborn baby who did NOT sleep like a baby I began to struggle.

All of that pent up energy to achieve and reach goals was thrust onto me and my mothering.

If you’re a mother and have been for any amount of time, you are probably thinking at this point, “That poor doll.” because you know that turning motherhood into achievable goals is a recipe for disaster.

But in my ignorance that’s exactly what I did.

As you might assume, I wasn’t reaching my goals, this baby wasn’t doing what everything said she would do if I just did X, Y and Z.

I was failing as a mother, and I was failing hard.

For an achieving, perfectionist, type A personality like mine this was not a good place to be.

I was over the moon stressed, what I did wasn’t good enough, I was making mistakes left and right, and if I couldn’t do it then no one else could do it either.

That included my husband.

Poor guy.

He was trying to hard to help me, but there was no helping me.

I was what you would call a “hot mess express”.

My mom and dad sat me down one day and had a little mini intervention to try to help.

We came up with a plan that included Justin taking some of the night feedings to let me get more sleep.

Our daughter would wake up every 2-3hr for a feeding from the day she was born until my husband insisted we begin sleep training around 7 months old.

I did all the night feedings, because in my head it only made sense for me to be the one doing it.

• I was breastfeeding, so fewer dishes to do if I just nurse her and go back to bed.
• My husband was still working.

For some reason even after my parents, Justin and I agreed to him taking some of the night feedings I didn’t let him.

I believed it was my duty, my role.

It was my responsibility.

Eventually she did start sleeping through the night and you’d think that would mean that I got better.

I did, a little.

But mostly I was still a little lost.

I still wasn’t achieving in motherhood.

Even after she was sleeping through the night I was not achieving my mothering goals.

Arrrr…I was still failing!

Healing Began

Then my middle baby was born.

We moved back home to be closer to family.

And I kept feeling God tugging at my heart to do something.

For the longest time, I didn’t know what that something was, but eventually through a beautiful course of events and unexpected meetings I started Open Doors Open Hearts.

As I started turning our new house into a home, I began a journey of healing.

I remembered that small voice in the back of my head that told me I wasn’t very good at home decor.

But with my personality and little motivation from Vincent Van Gogh I pushed on anyway.

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

Vincent Van Gogh

I found that I could have goals at home that were achievable, not these unrealistic goals that did nothing but set me up for failure.

But best of all, I not only healed back to the place I once was, but I also got even better than that.

My New Mission

Now, that I’m in this place I’m so passionate about helping other people overcome the same obstacles.

By giving myself little goals (different DIY and decor projects) I began healing.

I also learned that the slow process of curating our home gave me those goals and achievements that I needed so much.

I want that for everyone sitting where I sat.

So that’s it.

That’s my story in a nut shell.

I hope you’re able to follow along on YouTube and sign-up to join Open Doors Open Hearts!

If you missed it, make sure you head to the top or bottom of this page.

You’ll be the first to find out all that’s going on over here and you’ll get decor and DIY inspiration!

Open Your Doors,
Aliya